Wishing on a star...

Sometimes I really want to see a shooting star in the middle of the night making it's way through the dark blue shadows of the sky...It's not that I belive in wishes or anything like that..Sometimes I think that all those birthday candle wishes,shooting stars and the rest are nothing but a fraud(I'm not thinking,I'm sure about that)

And sometimes I wish that they actually worked...I know it's silly to belive in such things but at some point when you've lost your hope it's like those things have magic in them...I used to think about that when I was a little child but sometimes,I catch myself thinking about these things again and wondering "what if they are real if you believe and show faith in them??"And then I remember my last years birthday wish,which didn't work unfortunately...So,I get back to my real self and try to convince everyone else that they don't work the way they are supposed to...

So tonight,is one of the nights that I wish for a change...I don't know what I'm wishing for...I feel so confused...And I should be happy(?) because I've almost became yours again..But it's almost...And it's propably going to be like that...But I hate that "almost" word...

Anyway,today I'm a little bit "black"...It's your celebration today,and it's the first year we are without you...How I wish you were here..but you're gone..now and forever...it's been eight months without you..
Take care grandpa...I'm thinking about you,be sure about that....:(